All the while I was wondering if, maybe... just maybe it was a spider... I have definitely been a magnet for them. However I do respect them. Telling myself that if it was one, I was most likely just one of the tiny ones that seem to come out of nowhere and really aren't harmful. As comforting as I was trying to be with myself it was clearly not working. So as I lay there tossing and turning in the early morning hours of my bed, the ever so lovely spider woman enters my thoughts. This offered a small sense of security seeing as how I had done a research paper on the significance of spiders in symbolism, leading to a very strong bond with southwestern lore in particular. Lets say that I have been in communication with her, even if only in my imagination, noticing beautiful dancing spider webs glistening in discrete places. Throughout my investigations with the spider I gained a high regard and reverence for the beautiful creature, and actually refused to kill whenever possible. Knowing this and keeping in mind the sacredness, I was also not completely awake... or aware.
Partially grateful and honored by the grace of the spider so directly I was also a weeee bit frightened, as is only natural in the state of Arizona. I began to question just how much of a girl I was being, yet actually quite impressed with my lack of freaking out and squealing at this early hour. Something simply refused to allow me to return to my sacred slumber... this is about the time I checked my phone to see that it was just before 6am. Way too fucking early for me normally, but I couldn't shake the feeling of tiny tickles across my entire body, and my mind refused to just let it go. The fringes of my blanket, and stray hairs from my own head left me with an uneasy feeling.
In my mind I actually asked the spider woman protect me, and thanked her for her early morning wake up call. At the same time I recalled my instant reaction to the critter, and how I had brushed and grabbed at the life form sharing my bed, all in efforts to displace and rolling even to kill. I was not comforted by the idea of taking somethings life so early in the day, yet at the same time I wasn't even sure if I was just tripping out, having a really intense dream (which is normal), or if it was some reiki energy being released from this weekend. When none of those familiar sensations stuck, I had a minor freakout, but mostly because I had misplaced my phone. In search of the timeteller, I shook out my blankets, moved my pillows about, energetically wiped down my body & tousled my hair. Turning around over and over in my bed, I accidentally turned on the light and found my visitor. Placed roughly about where my lower back would be laying down, a spider nearly the size of a dime; no longer moving, with its little delicate legs curled it was no longer a threat.
Now totally awake, I rose to shake off my body once again and checked in the mirror for any signs of a venomous bite, so far so good. I don't have any localized pain or swelling, just a small itch here and there.
I have removed the sacred spider with an envelop and placed it in a safe place just in case it needs to be referenced later.
Suppose I should start my day now that I am wide awake, kinda funny for several reasons actually...
I have been attempting to rise earlier and regulate my sleep patterns
I am hyper aware even in sleep
and last but not least,
this whole situation is incredibly resonant with spider symbolism, I am simply intoxicated with creative energy.
So in conclusion I thank you spider woman, and good morning to all :)
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